Mrs. Clark is a strong and effective leader. She is an activator, full of passion for the work of developing strong leaders and creates cohesive teams in all areas of the company.
At first glance, one would think that her positivity would cloud her judgment of being firm or direct. The opposite is true. When asked about her success in building positive and strong teams she had this to say:
“The members of my team want to be here; I work hard, and they work hard. When someone wants to do something else, or cannot quite get with the program, I invite them to find another opportunity where they may be a better fit, I will even help them.” With a little humor she has this statement that she says to herself: “they need to get good or get gone.” I could not help but smile when she shared this, but I understood that what she wants is good for the team members, good for the team, and certainly good for the organization. For her, there is no reason to stay around if you are not going to get good. She knows that while the team member may be a great person, they may not be a great person in their current capacity or on her team.
The Disconnection
Contrary to widespread belief, it is not entertaining to fire someone, and it is not always easy. Some firings happen because of serious and dangerous offenses that need to be urgently confronted. Most firings happen because one of the parties feels disconnected from the work. They can feel this way because of expectations, culture, support, and several reasons. When disconnection is involved, it is challenging to produce the expected outcomes. It would seem that the employee would choose to leave and find a better fit, however, employees stay for many reasons. Some of those reasons have nothing to do with the work. They may stay for the money, or the comfort of working close to home. They may stay because they have kids in college or who are about to go to college. They may stay because of the relationships they have built. Before letting someone go or thinking about letting them go, think about what is making them stay.
Mrs. Clark gave this some thought about her admin assistant. When she was at work, she was a superstar, a formidable team member, and someone she deeply valued. The problem was, she was also taking care of her parents, and their needs as they aged were getting more demanding. This meant her assistant frequently called in to take a day off, arrived late, or left early. When she was at work, it was evident that she was worried about what was going on with her parents. When Mrs. Clark spoke to her, she confirmed that she wanted to be there and that she wanted to be a good daughter to her parents. A few months passed and Mrs. Clark was picking up the duties of her assistant causing her to let some of her responsibilities fall behind. When she reached out to talk to her assistant, the conversation usually ended up in tears, apologies, and promises to do better from the assistant.
Releasing Someone
During our coaching conversation, Mrs. Clark felt a bit conflicted. Her “get good or get gone” mantra was being put to the test. The assistant was good when she worked, but work was not getting done and that was not good. We explored an approach that she might take to having a compassionate but strong conversation with her assistant. She decided that she would state the obvious, the issue with her parents and the fact that the work was not being done. Then, she would release her to go so she could provide the support that they needed and that she wanted to give them.
When Mrs. Clark spoke with her assistant, she said “I’m releasing you from this position to go and take care of your parents.” She did not know what to expect…the assistant cried. She said she was only hanging on because she did not want to let Mrs. Clark down or abandon her. She knew her performance was lacking but she was afraid to let go. The two shared a warm, and compassionate conversation about the next steps, they set a final date of employment and committed to stay connected. Now, Mrs. Clark could move forward to finding the person who would be fit as her assistant.
Letting people go without firing them means you are inviting them into the separation process. Instead of summarizing where they have fallen short or are falling short, ask them to do the summary. Support them in seeing that based on the requirements of the position this is not the best fit. Share with them your mindset about the separation so they are not guessing if you are angry with them or if you will without a recommendation or block their future in any way.
In essence, you are letting them go and they are moving on to explore what is next for them.
The Separation Process
Employee separation does not have to be cruel or traumatic. As in the case of Mrs. Clark, it may be helpful to release them from one thing so they can step into something else.
When a team member stays too long when things should be over it puts everyone at risk. We are often taught to use anger, accusations, or fault-finding as a catalyst to move on. That is not a productive way to move forward. When you know someone on your team is no longer a good fit, meet with them, think, and talk through it then allow them to leave rather than be fired or leave in anger.
Letting someone go without firing this is about all parties. The leader, the employee, and the company. It requires an honest and transparent conversation that explores real options. Those options may mean going to another department, getting additional training, taking a leave, or parting ways.
Employee separation can be healthy, mature, and intentional.
Using Mrs. Clark’s mantra “Get good or get gone” can bring the leader to this thought: How can I bring about good in this challenging situation?
This is a simple question that can yield a positive outcome in difficult circumstances.
How can you let someone go without firing them? How can getting good be a compass for doing this? What opportunities might open for your employees and your company?
Things to consider since letting people go is not entertainment, it is real life.
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